I’m not crying because I’m sad. No, I remember that day exactly. That stone cold morning, where the sunlight looked like diamonds in my vision. Where the trees were swaying in the breeze, leaning on each other like thousand year treasures. And that day, the mountains seemed to glow in a way I didn’t think I’d ever seen before, and the world seemed to sparkle from the light of the sun. You know that feeling, where everything seems to click in just the right place. Where the past doesn’t seem too bad, and the present is good enough to be content in. So maybe the tears didn’t come because of sorrow this time. And when you asked me what was wrong I didn’t know how to respond. Because there are so many things wrong with the world. So many broken thoughts and memories, so many dark spots in reality and blinded people, running around confused from it all. But if we dwell on all these negativities, all the darkness strewn over light, it’s all we begin to see. It’s tricky you know, how our eyes become so accustomed to what we choose to see. And I think that’s how we get ourselves wrapped up in those spells of drained emotion. You begin to focus on only the things pushed back to your subconscious. Begin to unravel any hope and dream you once had. And it hurts. It’s so much effort to wake up every day and refuse to look at the sun. So much effort to do anything but sleep. And actually, I’ve begun to realize that one can’t truly recognize how bright the sun really is until they’ve adjusted to darkness. So no, I wasn’t crying because I was sad. I was crying because of all the built up emotions over years and years of controlled turmoil. I was crying because it felt so good to finally feel warmth. I was crying because of every thought anyone in this entire world has ever had, every emotion they’ve ever felt and any words ever spoken. Because of the colours and their brilliance, the leaves on the trees, the flowers and the birds and everything that’s real or imagined. I just find we live too fast. Fretting about the future and all the things that could go wrong, that we forget to feel. And it really is nice to be in the moment for once. It’s nice to smile and cry at the same time. Because in this world there’s just so much to lose and even more to gain. And I’m only learning how to live now.